What do I do when a student is rude / disrespectful or becomes upset during a session?

A tutorial session is a scholarly and professional setting, where both you but also the student are expected to maintain a professional demeanor. If you sense a poor or negative attitude from a student you're working with, you should not react in kind. In fact, these situations are where we are most grateful for your professionalism.

That said, it can be difficult to know what to say or how to de-escalate such situations with a student, so Upswing has prepared some possible scripts you can use if you find yourself needing some support.

Recommended scripts

If a student is directing abusive language toward you (rather than just swearing out of frustration), you can say something such as:

I understand you’re upset, and I want to help you with your assignment; however, if we are to continue the session, it’s important that we both respect each other.

On occasion, you may encounter a student who becomes deeply frustrated or upset. The potential causes are myriad: a looming deadline, difficulty understanding course concepts/material, or something else completely unrelated to you or the session, like a personal issue. Nonetheless, awkwardness may manifest, or worse--tension may escalate--so it’s important to prepare strategies to handle these situations. 

If you sense, from the start of the session, that the student is frustrated, you may want to spend a couple of minutes acknowledging that and dispelling any tension that may permeate the session:

Hey, you seem a little upset/anxious/frustrated/stressed. Before we dive into the content, did you want to share anything with me that I can help you with or just be aware of to ensure we have an awesome session?

If a student is persistently rude or disrespectful, politely end the session and decline future session requests. If the student repeatedly requests to meet or messages you, we ask that you politely inform the student that you won't be able to tutor them with a message like this: 

Apologies, ____________, but I am not available to meet with you. Fortunately, there are many tutors on the Upswing platform, so I am confident that you will find another tutor who can best support your needs.

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